Friday, November 2, 2012

If Only in My Dreams

Flutter.
Oh, hello, you, in there.
You don't know me yet.
But how I adore you.
Like an air bubble,
You flit, flitter, float.

Whoosh.
Oh, whoa, you.
Are you tumbling or jiggling
To the beat of my drum?
Like a story within a story,
You twist and turn in layers.

Jab.
Oh, ow, you.
It's getting tight in there.
Your hiccups tickle me.
Like an emerging butterfly,
You long to stretch your wings.

I awaken from my reverie
To realize those tiny stirs
Are long gone.
Only in my dreams--
I can feel them
Only in my dreams.

No more babies will there be.
They're already school-age kids
Growing fast and free.
Only in my dreams--
I can feel them
Only in my dreams.

When I encounter them--
Flutters, Whooshes, Jabs--
In my sleeping hours,
I'm enveloped again in my
Expectant, Carrying Joy, even
If only in my dreams.


 












-----
I wrote this piece on the one-hour drive to and one-hour drive from the hospital to see my sister-in-law who was laboring to give birth to her baby.  I got this post in with minutes to spare for #NaBloPoMo, as a brand new auntie.





6 comments:

  1. Ah, so sweet! I love love love new babies! Congratulations again, for like the 100th time, on becoming a new auntie! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Cassie! It was an amazing experience--and the crazy birth story will be forthcoming!

      I wanted to write about those rare dreams where I feel my baby move. That's one of those feelings that you can never forget. I'm sad that I'll never feel it again, except in my dreams. :)

      Delete
  2. This is so beautiful, Sandra.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kim! Mommies can probably all relate to this?! Gone are those days...

      Delete
  3. Congrats, Auntie! This piece is so beautiful. I honestly miss growing babies. I loved every moment of being pregnant and my body still longs for it again. But, it's not to be for lots of reasons, so I have my memories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Cindy! I'm a proud auntie with a great birth story to tell. I just haven't had the time to write it yet!

      I so miss growing babies, too! Sometimes I have dreams so real that it's really like being pregnant! Thankfully, I wake up to reality. As much as I loved being pregnant, I'm too old now, can't afford it, and would seriously panic if I couldn't wake up! :) May we keep these memories forever and always!

      Delete