Friday, November 2, 2012

If Only in My Dreams

Oh, hello, you, in there.
You don't know me yet.
But how I adore you.
Like an air bubble,
You flit, flitter, float.

Oh, whoa, you.
Are you tumbling or jiggling
To the beat of my drum?
Like a story within a story,
You twist and turn in layers.

Oh, ow, you.
It's getting tight in there.
Your hiccups tickle me.
Like an emerging butterfly,
You long to stretch your wings.

I awaken from my reverie
To realize those tiny stirs
Are long gone.
Only in my dreams--
I can feel them
Only in my dreams.

No more babies will there be.
They're already school-age kids
Growing fast and free.
Only in my dreams--
I can feel them
Only in my dreams.

When I encounter them--
Flutters, Whooshes, Jabs--
In my sleeping hours,
I'm enveloped again in my
Expectant, Carrying Joy, even
If only in my dreams.


I wrote this piece on the one-hour drive to and one-hour drive from the hospital to see my sister-in-law who was laboring to give birth to her baby.  I got this post in with minutes to spare for #NaBloPoMo, as a brand new auntie.


  1. Ah, so sweet! I love love love new babies! Congratulations again, for like the 100th time, on becoming a new auntie! :)

    1. Thank you so much, Cassie! It was an amazing experience--and the crazy birth story will be forthcoming!

      I wanted to write about those rare dreams where I feel my baby move. That's one of those feelings that you can never forget. I'm sad that I'll never feel it again, except in my dreams. :)

  2. This is so beautiful, Sandra.

    1. Thank you, Kim! Mommies can probably all relate to this?! Gone are those days...

  3. Congrats, Auntie! This piece is so beautiful. I honestly miss growing babies. I loved every moment of being pregnant and my body still longs for it again. But, it's not to be for lots of reasons, so I have my memories.

    1. Thank you so much, Cindy! I'm a proud auntie with a great birth story to tell. I just haven't had the time to write it yet!

      I so miss growing babies, too! Sometimes I have dreams so real that it's really like being pregnant! Thankfully, I wake up to reality. As much as I loved being pregnant, I'm too old now, can't afford it, and would seriously panic if I couldn't wake up! :) May we keep these memories forever and always!